Is this society so far gone that it's hopeless? Have we abandoned our role model responsiblities for so long that we can't change? I don't think so. Each of us can change our own little world. Fathers who are honest with themselves will admit that we all make mistakes. We have all made bad decisions. Some of those decisions have to be reversed.
If you have accepted a promotion and a transfer that takes you a step up the corporate ladder at the expense of your kids, maybe you need to think about taking a step back. More important than providing a life of ease for your kids is making sure that they know you love them unconditionally.
- Mike Singletary
Notes from the Editor: I like the message about taking a step back. Long after you have passed away and left this earth, your employer will find a replacement for you... no matter how invaluable you think you may be. If you think the goal in life is to empty out that proverbial "inbox" of things to do, you're wrong. There will always be more things to do than you will ever be able to handle - that's just life. When you die, what is left behind isn't all the things at work you've left undone... it's the legacy of the relationships and the life-lessons you impart on your children and the people who love you.
When pushed to choose between love and fame or fortune, choose love and you won't go wrong. (reference: 1 Corinthians 13) The reference is a popular passage cited in many weddings, but I think it's fitting for the choices we are sometimes faced with workplace demands.
There are times that I have worked late and arrived home only to see my wife and child already fast asleep. Those moments that we regularly spend at meal-time and play-time before bed are lost. I grind my teeth thinking about the loss because there is precious little time before my child grows up and leaves our home. And what did I trade for that precious time? Extra time at work? Was it worth it? Sometimes our jobs are on the line and this sacrifice seems necessary, but often it is not. We simply choose work because we do not take the time to weigh the cost on our family life.. or we avoid asking the question altogether.
On the other hand, there was another day when I did not have to work late and was able to leave the office early. I came to my daughter's daycare school to pick her up early (my wife usually takes her home) and the look on my daughter's face when she recognized me with surprise was a priceless reminder of exactly what I lose every time I choose to work late. How could I trade that away... ever?
What about promotions or advancements up the corporate ladder? The question is: has the advancement been at the expense of one's family life? Sure, the bonuses and higher salary may provide for the family, but what good is money if the provider isn't around to enjoy it with his (or her) family? Alternatively, what good is praise and accolades at work if one does not have love at home? Money and status mean nothing when compared to love. Work may be stressful and demanding, but never hesitate to take the time to love and to cherish your family when the opportunities present themselves.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Dropping the Ego
For everything, absolutely everything,
above and below, visible and invisible...
everything got started in him and
finds its purpose in him.
- Colossians 1:16 (MSG)
above and below, visible and invisible...
everything got started in him and
finds its purpose in him.
- Colossians 1:16 (MSG)
Just read a meaningful passage in Rick Warren's book: A Purpose Driven Life. One of the first lessons of his 40 days of Biblical devotions includes a warning to drop one's ego and leave it behind. He writes: "Contrary to what popular books, movies and seminars tell you, you won't discover your life's meaning by looking within yourself. You've probably tried that already. You didn't create yourself, so there's no way you can tell yourself what you were created for!" As the Bible passage from Colossians says in its own way: It all starts with God.
"The search for the purpose of life has puzzled people for thousands of years. That's because we typically begin at the wrong starting point - ourselves."
A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump;
a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.
- Proverbs 11:28 (MSG)
a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.
- Proverbs 11:28 (MSG)
We are reminded in the Bible that "It is God who directs the lives of his creatures; everyone's life is in his power." (Romans 12:2 NLT) With that in mind life's purpose unfolds, because (which bears repeating): It all starts with God. God is shaping us. God is guiding us. God is leading us through the trials and the discoveries of our lives. To find greater purpose and direction in life is to first turn to Him to find that meaning. And so it is with your life's purpose. To find the answers is to first approach the maker Himself. Ask God.
We aren't left alone to find this revelation of life's purpose. It is revealed in His Word, the Bible. Rick Warren calls the Bible the ultimate "Owners Manual" which "explains what no self-help or philosophy book could know." The Bible says, "God's wisdom... goes deep into the interior of his purposes... it's not the latest message but more like the oldest - what God has determined as the way to bring out His best in us." (1 Corinthians 2:7 MSG) It is in God's word that we can find access to "eternal truths" that immediately trump pop-psychology, success-motivation and even inspirational stories.
I enjoy inspirational stories as much as the next person, but I see now that it is not quite enough to build a truly strong relationship with God. The meaning and purpose of life evolves from an acknowledgment that the sum-total of the human experience here on earth is only a tiny peephole into God's plan for His creation. While we may draw strength and resolve from humanistic stories, they are only as good as our ability to relate them back to His Word (the Bible) and its lesson plan for our development.
Monday, November 10, 2008
An Age of Rage
Passage for the Day: Psalm 37:1-11
We live in an age of rage... by studying anger and its power, we can learn self-control so that we do not need to lose our temper in rage or abuse ourselves with resentment, but can defuse anger by resolving circumstances and then use the energy of anger through Christlike indignation.
The following summary, written in the form of resolutions, can form a point of departure for us as we continue with life. We should reflect prayerfully about how we can incorporate these ideals in our own lives.
- Richard P. Walters
Note from the editor: I liked verse 13 following this reading, which says: but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming... It is a nice focus of this reading to remind others that while it may seem that the wicked and evil seemingly prevail, these psalms encourage people to focus on rejoicing in good works and to "refrain from anger and turn from wrath" which only leads to more evil... evil is short-lived. God handles it in His own ways and in His own time - we must remember that in the long run, there is no place for evil and its gains are only short lived.
I liked Richard Walters' resolutions - for many of us, anger is a point of struggle and not all of us are as well advised on the Christlike solution to therapy for anger-management. I have been through therapy before, and one of the tenets to managing uncomfortable feelings and pent-up emotions is to first: recognize our emotions (such as anger) for what they are - neither elevating or putting ourselves down for having them. Then the next step is to think logically about their source... where are these emotions coming from? What problems or challenges have drawn them out into our life? It is amazing to see that Biblically (such as in today's reading), there is some deep-set wisdom towards self-therapy and healing for the wounds and burdens of negative emotions such as anger.
We live in an age of rage... by studying anger and its power, we can learn self-control so that we do not need to lose our temper in rage or abuse ourselves with resentment, but can defuse anger by resolving circumstances and then use the energy of anger through Christlike indignation.
The following summary, written in the form of resolutions, can form a point of departure for us as we continue with life. We should reflect prayerfully about how we can incorporate these ideals in our own lives.
- To keep my life centered on God, as best I can, recognizing that when I do not, my natural self will generate things to become angry about;
- To not condemn myself for feelings of anger;
- To do everything I can to avoid acting on the basis of anger;
- To clean up any problems I create as quickly as possible;
- To recognize God's help in this process;
- To redirect the energy of anger away from hurting people and toward improving conditions for people;
- To be sensitive to injustice and evil, learning to be angry about the misery that sin inflicts on people without becoming controlled by the anger.
- Richard P. Walters
Note from the editor: I liked verse 13 following this reading, which says: but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming... It is a nice focus of this reading to remind others that while it may seem that the wicked and evil seemingly prevail, these psalms encourage people to focus on rejoicing in good works and to "refrain from anger and turn from wrath" which only leads to more evil... evil is short-lived. God handles it in His own ways and in His own time - we must remember that in the long run, there is no place for evil and its gains are only short lived.
I liked Richard Walters' resolutions - for many of us, anger is a point of struggle and not all of us are as well advised on the Christlike solution to therapy for anger-management. I have been through therapy before, and one of the tenets to managing uncomfortable feelings and pent-up emotions is to first: recognize our emotions (such as anger) for what they are - neither elevating or putting ourselves down for having them. Then the next step is to think logically about their source... where are these emotions coming from? What problems or challenges have drawn them out into our life? It is amazing to see that Biblically (such as in today's reading), there is some deep-set wisdom towards self-therapy and healing for the wounds and burdens of negative emotions such as anger.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
From Wilderness to Mountain
Passage for the Day: 1 Kings 19: 1-9
Life is always composed of those experiences and encounters which provide both challenge to one's character and the testing of one's spirit...
To be sure, life is not only composed of experiences and encounters; it is also composed of question marks. In every life there are always questions which ought to be asked and which demand an answer. The first question of life is always: "Who am I?" and the second question is like unto it, "What am I living for?" However, when life has been lived to a level of maturity, when one's experience and encounters have led to some ups and down, some joy and some sadness... there is yet another question that every man must ask: "How did I get where I am which is so far from where I am supposed to be?" ...
[In 1 Kings 19] I see a defeated and desolate Elijah sitting under a broom tree in the solitude of his own sadness... I see an Elijah who had come to the point where he had to ask life's most difficult question: "How did I get to where I am which is so far from where I am supposed to be?"...
I may as well tell you, there are only three kinds of people in the world: those who are in the wilderness, those who have just come out of the wilderness and those who are heading into the wilderness...
In the midst of that wilderness experience, God... sent his angel to feed Elijah. "You don't have enough for your journey?"
"What journey? I'm through. I'm all washed up."
"You're not through yet, Elijah."
"I'm going to send you from where you are to where I want you to be. I'm going to send you from the molehill to the mountain... I'm going to send you from the wilderness to the mountain."
In the wilderness there is weakness, but on the mountain there is strength. In the wilderness there is loneliness, but on the mountain there is companionship. In the wilderness there is despair, but on the mountain there is hope.
- H. Beecher Hicks
editor's notes: I liked the commentary on the three types of people there are in this world. It is so true. Part of the cycle of life is the downslide into loneliness and destitution and then the emergence and survival from life's challenges. No matter what journey we're on... what pathway we've endured - God has a bigger plan for us and is taking us on that journey to where He wants us to be: THROUGH the wilderness and towards the mountains. In this passage, 1 Kings, there is some great symbolism about the wilderness as a emotionally and spiritually challenging place. Yet Elijah was not alone in the wilderness - God sent an angel to tend to Elijah in his time at the "low point" to give him strength, resolve and endurance to make it through.
Life is always composed of those experiences and encounters which provide both challenge to one's character and the testing of one's spirit...
To be sure, life is not only composed of experiences and encounters; it is also composed of question marks. In every life there are always questions which ought to be asked and which demand an answer. The first question of life is always: "Who am I?" and the second question is like unto it, "What am I living for?" However, when life has been lived to a level of maturity, when one's experience and encounters have led to some ups and down, some joy and some sadness... there is yet another question that every man must ask: "How did I get where I am which is so far from where I am supposed to be?" ...
[In 1 Kings 19] I see a defeated and desolate Elijah sitting under a broom tree in the solitude of his own sadness... I see an Elijah who had come to the point where he had to ask life's most difficult question: "How did I get to where I am which is so far from where I am supposed to be?"...
I may as well tell you, there are only three kinds of people in the world: those who are in the wilderness, those who have just come out of the wilderness and those who are heading into the wilderness...
In the midst of that wilderness experience, God... sent his angel to feed Elijah. "You don't have enough for your journey?"
"What journey? I'm through. I'm all washed up."
"You're not through yet, Elijah."
"I'm going to send you from where you are to where I want you to be. I'm going to send you from the molehill to the mountain... I'm going to send you from the wilderness to the mountain."
In the wilderness there is weakness, but on the mountain there is strength. In the wilderness there is loneliness, but on the mountain there is companionship. In the wilderness there is despair, but on the mountain there is hope.
- H. Beecher Hicks
editor's notes: I liked the commentary on the three types of people there are in this world. It is so true. Part of the cycle of life is the downslide into loneliness and destitution and then the emergence and survival from life's challenges. No matter what journey we're on... what pathway we've endured - God has a bigger plan for us and is taking us on that journey to where He wants us to be: THROUGH the wilderness and towards the mountains. In this passage, 1 Kings, there is some great symbolism about the wilderness as a emotionally and spiritually challenging place. Yet Elijah was not alone in the wilderness - God sent an angel to tend to Elijah in his time at the "low point" to give him strength, resolve and endurance to make it through.
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